What Self-Care Really Looks Like

The term “self-care” pops up a lot on social media and beyond. When you hear it, you may think of a spa day, meditating, treating yourself to a special meal, or trying that new workout class you’ve been interested in. While none of these are exactly wrong, this is a narrow view of self-care that can make it difficult to understand what self-care really is.

So let’s start with the basics: The World Health Organization defines self-care as “the ability of individuals, families, and communities to promote their own health, prevent disease, maintain health, and to cope with illness with or without the support of a health or care worker.”

This expansive definition encompasses the “typical” self-care practices that may immediately come to mind, such as the activities mentioned above, but also includes tools like medication, preventative health screening, therapy, and more. Importantly, this definition also speaks to self-care as something bigger than an individual practice. The concept of community care has received more attention lately due to the strong impact that supportive interpersonal relationships can have on health and well-being. Just like every aspect of our mental health journey, self-care doesn’t exist in a vacuum; we each bring our unique lives and context to it.

With that understanding of self-care in mind, you can start to build your ideal self-care routine. Here are our top five tips for building a sustainable self-care routine personalized to you:

1. Get Curious: What kinds of self-care activities and practices do you like? What would feel best to your mind and your body? Are there tasks or activities you’ve been putting off that would have a positive impact on your health? Reflect on these questions in a quiet moment or maybe in a journal. Having a list of possible activities and habits that you like can become a Self-Care Choose-Your-Own Adventure!
2. Start Small: The most important characteristic of a self-care practice comes down to one question: Will you do it? While it can be tempting to create an elaborate “perfect” routine, do your brain a favor and start with the most bite-sized version of the practice you want to cultivate. Maybe this is a 1-minute gratitude practice, a 3-minute meditation, or finally scheduling that doctor’s appointment. Build up your practice as you go, but don’t forget to celebrate those small wins!
3. Practice Kindness: We live in a culture that tends to have a very one-note picture of what health looks like. Because we are all unique individuals, this can lead to unhealthy expectations about how our minds or bodies “should be.” True self-care never involves self-ridicule, judgment, or spending beyond your means. You cannot (and should not) hate yourself into making a life change. In fact, this approach can bring more harm than good, leading to additional mental health challenges like eating disorders or stress.
4. Seek Community: Self-care doesn’t need to be done alone! Involve your family, friends, caregiver, colleagues, or use it as a chance to forge new connections. Perhaps you join a community biking group, an art class at the library, or work on a local political initiative. As a bonus, a strong sense of community has been associated with reduced symptoms of depression, anxiety, and stress!
5. Commit: Just as it’s important to start small, consistency is key when it comes to self-care routines. When we get busy, stressed, or go through a rough mental health patch, self-care practices can be the first thing to fall off our calendar. These moments, when it’s hardest to get out for that walk or show up for that support group, are usually the ones when we need self-care the most. Block off time for yourself using a planner or a virtual calendar, and protect this sacred time.