The Grounding Five by @foodwinesunshine

As a mom and someone who loves deeply, one of the hardest things is watching someone I care about struggle with anxiety. I’m not a therapist – I’m just someone who wants the people in my life to feel safe and supported.

One simple way I help is by asking gentle grounding questions that have nothing to do with what’s causing the anxiety. The goal isn’t to solve the problem in that moment – it’s to help calm the nervous system, shift focus to the present, and let the body settle.

Here are a few questions I use when someone I love needs a steady voice beside them.

5 Grounding Questions I Ask When Someone I Love Feels Anxious
From Tracy at Food Wine Sunshine

1. “Can you tell me 3 things you see around you right now?”
   (This pulls their focus outward and into their environment.)
2. “What’s something you can hear in this moment?”
   It could be the hum of the AC, birds outside, distant traffic — it anchors them in the present.
3. “If we were planning a dinner tonight, what would be on the menu?”
   This gently shifts the brain into creativity and comfort instead of fear.
4. “What’s something small that made you smile recently?”
   It doesn’t have to be big – even remembering something light can interrupt the anxiety loop.
5. “Can you feel your feet on the ground? What does the floor feel like?”
   Bringing awareness back to the body in a neutral way helps regulate breathing naturally.

These techniques are inspired by commonly used grounding practices recommended by mental health professionals.

These explanations are based on well-established grounding and nervous system regulation techniques commonly used in:

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
• Mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR)
• Somatic grounding techniques
• Anxiety first-aid practices taught by licensed therapists and mental health organizations

Here’s the science behind why those types of questions help:

1. Shifting Attention Interrupts the Anxiety Loop

Anxiety activates the brain’s threat system (amygdala). When you ask someone to name what they see or hear, you engage the prefrontal cortex — the thinking part of the brain — which helps reduce the intensity of the stress response.

2. Sensory Awareness Regulates the Nervous System

Questions about sights, sounds, textures, or physical sensations are similar to the widely used 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique, a clinically recognized strategy for panic and anxiety.

3. Neutral or Pleasant Topics Lower Physiological Arousal

Asking about dinner plans or something that made them smile shifts the brain from perceived threat to safety and familiarity, which helps signal to the body that it’s okay to relax.

4. Body Awareness Encourages Breath Regulation

When someone notices their feet on the ground or physical sensations, they naturally slow down and breathe more evenly – even if you never say “take a deep breath.”

These approaches are supported by organizations like:

• The Anxiety & Depression Association of America (ADAA)
• National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)
• Mindfulness research programs (like those developed at UMass Medical School)

What you’re doing is essentially a gentle, conversational version of therapist-led grounding but it’s wrapped in love and connection.